When We Must Stand Up
by Fray Ray
Summary: Natalia and Eric are thrown the hardest thing their relationship has ever had to take, the death of their baby boy.  After which, they must learn to stand back up.  NOTE: If the death of the child effects you very neg, please don't read.  Rated for death.


**So, here's the story I've been working on for a while. I wanted it to be just right. So, I hope you like it.**

**Summary: Eric and Natalia must over come the most difficult thing life has thrown them, the death of this month and a half year out son.**

**  
Warning: If the death of this child will offend or upset you so much so, please don't read. It's rated 'T' for it. Just so…**

_When We Must Stand Up_

She loved to watch their baby sleep. Eric knew this. He would walk in to the nursery and see Natalia sitting in the glider, eyes focused intently on the just north of one month baby girl lying in the crib, watching and making sure that the child was breathing. Though, she did have good reason to do this. And, no one could blame her. Two years ago, they had over come one of the hardest judgment days in their entire relationship.

--Two years ago--

"Hola, Mr. and Mrs. Delko," Annabelle, the twenty-two year old nanny that they had hired to watch their baby, greeted as they entered the house. Natalia had just started working again about a week ago; their baby boy was about a month and a half. Though, Annabelle had been helping them since he was about two weeks.

"Hola, Belle," Natalia greeted. "How is Matthew?"

"He is well. I laid him down about an hour ago," she informed the parents.

"I'll be right back," Natalia told Annabelle and Eric, before she set off to her son's bedroom.

"Here's your weeks pay," Eric said, reaching into Natalia's purse and pulling out the check book, and handing Annabelle the check they had written earlier that day.

"Gracias, Mr. Delko," she thanked him, taking the check and then gathering her stuff to leave.

Natalia walked back in and announced, "Sound asleep."

"Adios," Annabelle smiled as she headed to the door. She would stay with them throughout the week occasionally, but she never stayed over the weekend. She said she had a family and young siblings that also needed her.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow, Belle," Natalia smiled.

"Bye," Eric said as he shut the door behind her and locked it. Yawning, he turned to Natalia, "Bed time."

"I hear you," she replied with a yawn of her own, and then following him to their bedroom.

--

Three hours later, Natalia's eyes shot open. She didn't know why, but she had that feeling that something was terribly wrong. She sat up, startling Eric awake.

"What are you doing?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

"I have to check on Matt," she told him as she kicked her legs over the side of her bed.

Eric sat up and leaned against the back of the bed as his wife hurried out of the room before he even had a chance to ask why. In what couldn't have been more than a minute later, he heard Natalia screaming his name. He jumped out of the bed and ran across the hall to the nursery.

He entered to find Natalia in the floor in front of the crib; Matthew, still lying inside it. He noticed she was crying the second he had entered the room.

"He's not breathing… He's not responding," Natalia murmured. Eric's eyes drifted to his little boy. He was laid like he was sleeping, but upon closer inspection, Eric could tell that the baby's chest and stomach were not moving.

Eric picked up his phone; the first call was to 911. Then, after hanging up, he phoned Horatio. After placing his call, he sat down beside his wife and took her in his arms, though she did not return the gesture.

Horatio arrived seconds before the EMTs and ushered Natalia and Eric away from Matthew as they looked at him. Eric felt the tears finally fall as the blonde doctor put her stethoscope back around her neck and shook her head, confirming the death of his son.

Eric looked up at Horatio, his eyes asking if they'd have to be questioned. Horatio gave a small half nod in return. Eric lifted his wife to her feet and led her down the hallway and onto the sofa. She didn't look at him, didn't speak, and didn't react.

"Okay, first thing I want to ask you, are you going to want an autopsy?" Horatio started.

"If Alexx is the one that does it," Eric answered, Natalia still didn't respond.

"I'm sure that can be arranged. Now, when was the last time you checked on Matthew?" Horatio continued his questioning.

"We came in and Annabelle said she had laid him down about an hour before hand, Natalia went back and checked on him. She came back and said he was fine. Annabelle left, we went to bed, and then Natalia woke up with the urge to check on him," he replied, wiping his hand over his face.

"He's been perfectly healthy?" Horatio asked.

Eric nodded, "Perfectly."

Horatio nodded and looked up as Alexx came through the door, having apparently been paged. She hugged them both, Eric hugging her back and Natalia still not responding.

Alexx wiped her eyes, "I'm sorry this happened. So sorry."

Eric didn't even respond this time. Though, Alexx wasn't fazed by this, it was expected. She patted Eric on the shoulder, and made her way back to the nursery.

"Is there anything from your families' health history that may have contributed?" Horatio continued after Alexx had left.

"No," Eric shook his head. "Natalia?"

She shook her head in response, but didn't raise her line of sight from her lap.

"Okay," Horatio nodded. "You know we have to thoroughly investigate the crime scene, not saying a crime was committed, but we do have to scrutinize everything."

"Yes, sir," Eric once again answered, and Natalia once again made no movement that she had heard him.

"Okay," Horatio responded before getting up and going back to the nursery with Alexx.

Moments later, Calleigh and Ryan entered with kits in hand. They shot Eric an apologetic look before heading back to where the nursery was located.

--

"Alexx," Horatio said as he entered the nursery, which was located in the very back, left hand corner, right across from Natalia and Eric's room, "what do we have?"

"No visible signs that would point to a COD. Though, I didn't expect any," Alexx commented.

"Nor did I, Alexx, nor did I," Horatio replied, giving a swift glance around the room. Everything was perfectly in order in the exact place it had been a week ago when he had come to visit.

"Probably be a classic case of SIDS," she informed continuing to look over the tiny body, but, as she had expected, finding nothing. "But, I'll have to perform a full autopsy to rule it that."

"They've given you the go ahead," Horatio told her as Calleigh and Ryan entered the room. He turned to them, "Take air samples, samples from bottles that may have been used today, the blanket, the clothing he wore today, the clothing that Eric and Natalia wore today, and anything else."

"Are you sure Stetler won't protest us on this?" Calleigh questioned.

"If we are completely thorough, there will be nothing to protest about," Horatio replied, walking from the room.

--

Eric and Natalia now sat in one of the rooms that is usually used to tell the family of the victims what had happened. Natalia still hadn't said anything. She was starting to worry Eric. She would let him hold her but wouldn't respond. She'd just sit there, staring straight ahead.

Alexx entered and sat down across from them. She laid the folder down she had in her hands, "How are you?"

Eric didn't answer; he wasn't sure how one would answer that in this predicament. Natalia didn't even respond to the sound of her voice.

"What did you get?" Eric managed to ask.

"There were no signs of anything that could have led to his death. I'm sorry, but I do think it was Sudden Infant Death Syndrome," Alexx sighed.

"No!" Natalia suddenly shouted, making both Eric and Alexx jump. "No! No! No! It's my fault!"

"Natalia," Alexx started, "you know that no matter what measures you take, sometimes this happens."

"No," Natalia shook her viciously, "I had something on me when I came home. I didn't do something right. It's my fault.

"Natalia…" Eric tried to get her attention.

"NO!" she shouted before getting up and running out of the room.

Eric looked at Alexx and then stood up and ran after her. He caught up with her in the lobby, "Natalia."

Natalia turned to him, tears still in her eyes, and shook her head, "I can't."

"You can't what?" Eric pleaded, though he had a pretty good idea where this was going, and tears filled his eyes also.

"This. I can't. I'm sorry," she wiped her eyes on the back of her hand and took a step back as Eric tried to reach for her. "Eric, please. I've just… I have to go."

Eric watched as she turned and left. He slid to the floor in front of the reception desk. Did she not understand that this was as hard for him as it was for her? He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to the face of Calleigh.

"People handle things differently, Eric," was all she said before she gave his shoulder a light squeeze before she walked away.

--

It has been two months. Two months since their baby had died, two months since she had told him she couldn't be with him anymore, two months since they had to bury the child of not even two months, and two month since he'd even seen her.

Eric took the mandatory minimum of a month that Horatio had given him and had come back and passed his psyche test. He'd taken the therapy that Horatio had told him he must do also. He'd been back for about a month.

Natalia hadn't returned to work. She hadn't been in contact with Eric. Horatio would contact her to assure she was fine, and sometimes Calleigh would talk to her. But, Natalia wouldn't talk to Eric. She hadn't taken the therapy like she was supposed to; she hadn't mentioned even wanting to be back at work. She'd been living with her sisters, which were doing a good job filling her wishes by buffering away Eric.

Since the day that Calleigh had caught Natalia breaking it off, she'd assured that all would be fine. She said that Natalia would come around. They hadn't divorced yet, so really they were still married. He still wore his ring. If she wore hers, he didn't know.

So, now as he walked towards the DNA lab, he felt the now familiar sting of knowing that this had been where he had first met her, where it had all begun.

Valera smiled as he entered, "Here's your results."

Eric smiled back, "Thanks."

He turned and walked away, sighing because he knew that her smile, like so many others, still held pity for him. Most still watched their words, made sure to never mention Natalia around him. They'd cringe when the name Matt ever came up in a case.

Horatio never did this, and neither did Calleigh. Ryan was good about keeping his wits about him also. Alisha, who was supposed to be Natalia's temporary replacement, now looking to be more permanent, was the worst. A lot of time, she talked to him like he would break at any moment. He hated that.

"Hey," the woman in question called from behind him.

"Hey, Alisha," he responded, finally opening the folder he'd received.

"Oh, I can take those, Eric," she offered, reaching for the results. She was doing it again.

"Alisha," he said sharply, pulling the results away from her advancing hands, she froze instantly. He took a deep breath, "I'm not a newbie, Alisha. I'm quite capable of doing my job."

"Well, I just thought…" she started, her bluish-green eyes wide.

"I got it," he interrupted before walking away to find Horatio.

He entered the office without paying much attention, his thoughts still aggravated at Alisha. He froze as, instead of one, two pairs of eyes looked at him.

He stood frozen. It couldn't be. I wouldn't be. He closed his eyes before reopening them. He glanced down at her left hand, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth as he did so.

"Mr. Delko," Horatio pulled him out of his frozen state, "what do you have?"

"Oh, um, DNA results came back positive," he answered, his eyes not straying from the woman in front of him.

"Thank you, Eric. Now, if you'll please take Mrs. Delko with you, she needs to be briefed. She can be of some help to Calleigh," Horatio responded.

Eric nodded as Natalia stood up and walked over to him. They both bid Horatio goodbye and then made their way to the break room in silence. Several pairs of eyes followed them as they walked to halls. A shriek was heard, followed by a different voice saying, "Natalia!"

They turned and looked as Valera and Calleigh, who was working a different case, came running from the DNA lab. Valera engulfed her in a large hug first, "You're back!"

Natalia gave a small hug and nod, "Yup, I'm ready."

"That's good. We've all missed you around here," Calleigh gave her a small hug.

"I just needed some time," Natalia told them, her gaze lingering on Eric.

"Eric!" Alisha called, and they turned to see her coming towards them. Her dirty blonde hair that fell to her shoulders was pulled back into a small pony tail. She stopped as she saw Natalia, "Who's that?"

Natalia smiled, "Hi, I'm Natalia."

"Natalia, Natalia?" Alisha's face scrunched up. After seeing Natalia's nod, looking a bit confused, her face turned to a frown, "What are you doing here?"

"Um, I work here?" Natalia glanced up at Eric, who was standing behind her. He put a hand on her shoulder and smiled.

Alisha gave the other woman a hard stare, before turning around on her heals and walking away without another word.

"Don't worry about her," Eric shook his head.

"Natalia," another male voice and she turned around to see Ryan.

Eric stood back as she talked to her three coworkers. He knew they would have their time to talk later. Most preferably, it would be in private.

--

Their time came later, after Natalia told him that they should go home to talk. He smiled at her mention on 'home.'

As they entered the house, the stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room for a minute before Natalia began.

"I'm sor-"

"No," Eric interrupted. "Don't say it."

"But, I am," tears were lightly dotting in her eyes. Her stance made her look defeated where she was standing in front of him less than a foot away.

"I love you, Natalia," he whispered gently, taking her hands. "I don't need to hear an 'I'm Sorry' for you doing what, deep inside, I knew you had to do to come over this. At first, I was upset because I wondered if you knew that this hurt me too. And, not having you there made a thousand times worse. But, you're here."

She sniffed and pushed herself against, burying her head into his chest and crying. She held onto him tightly, and he held onto her, equally as tightly.

--Back to present--

He still remembers those two months as one of the hardest time of his life. He still cries at times when he thinks of his son. He still hurts as the time without his wife, the love of his life, replays itself.

But, they made it thought that. It was, by no means, easy. He remembers when she found out she was pregnant again. She couldn't decide whether to be happy or scared. She cried for hours. She said she wasn't quite ready to be a mother again. He had held her, telling her it would all be okay. She would quiet down and hold onto him for dear life. They had made it through that too. He had been afraid that that would have been her breaking point.

And now, as he watches her with their baby girl, he knows there is nothing to worry about. She's going to be just fine. Their baby is going to just fine. They were going to be just fine.

They had made it through the hardest test their relationship had ever been put to. And, Eric was proud they had. Now, his wife was still his. He had a child that the loved.

Natalia was due to start work again in a week, something that scared her. Annabelle had been working with them again. Alisha had quickly learned to accept Natalia. And, though the two couldn't really be named as friends, they would talk.

Natalia looked up at him from where she was sitting. He held out his hand, "Come on. Let's go to bed."

She nodded, took his hand and stood up. Yeah, they were going to be just fine. They got off the ground and finally were able stand back up

--

_Well, did you like it? It took me a while cause I wanted this one to be good. So, I hope you did. Review and tell me. And, if you think I should do another part. When she finds out that she's pregnant._


End file.
